I am on my flight back to Shanghai again! It’s the third time this year I’ve travelled back and really happy to see my family again.
The more I grow up, the more I feel myself different from how I was before, in a good way. I was not so close to my family before actually, but now I know clearly how I love each and every of them. There are a lot of other changes in me, some big and some small. I used to be shy when talking to boys, and now I hardly feel any difference between genders (I mean when talking); used to be unclear about my career, and now I have a clear goal. I used to think making logical sense is everything, and actually connecting with people is equally important. I also used to despise small talks as it’s totally a waste of time and superficial but now I have to say it sometimes myself. I used to diet to death in order to lose weight but now I eat, exercise and can still laugh if I put on 2 kilos.
Maybe that’s the feeling of becoming mature. Maybe 10 years later my perception will change again (not maybe, definitely). However all the philosophies of life, unless I realise them by myself, it’s very hard to be taught. One of the reasons is language and learning process has it’s own limitation. So unless there comes some revolutionary invention like ‘pills of getting mature’ or ‘glasses to grow up in 5 years’, I guess I will need to follow this type of learning path of me – i.e. to live and experience a true life, and keep all my passion and curiosity about the world.
If I could travel back 15 years, what would I have told myself? I would have told myself to step out home and school, to pick up hobbies and to have a boyfriend. I would have told myself to try hard for a result, but to enjoy the efforts and appreciate whatever happens to me.